Are you Really Listening?

Over the past weekend I had the privilege of spending time with some remarkable men and women. While each one of them has an amazing business resume, their community service resumes were in most cases even more impressive. This was the first of many meetings of this unique group of individuals, all dedicated to addressing the needs of community issues and challenges for the good of the whole.

When I first walked into the room, I was caught off guard when I realized I only knew two people in the room. Being involved in many different civic organizations for 20 or so years had lulled me into thinking I would at least recognize half the people there. It was a gift meeting my class!

The weekend centered around self awareness and forming relationships with each other. We got to know one another without the usual self promotion of a business relationship, and without the power struggle of a first meeting on a new project. We formed relationships with people we might never have met without this opportunity. New partners for projects, ideas and friendships. The diversity of talent and interest among this group is staggering.

As the weekend progressed it was fun to see how differently each of us sought solutions to games, situations, etc. And how we interpreted the means to an end so differently. We were all given the same instructions, at the same time but we heard/interpreted the directions in such different ways. Even asking for clarification didn't change the way we heard. As one of my classmates concluded we are "hardwired" to hear/do things our way and it is difficult to see another point of view.

We were reminded (one of many aha moments) of the importance of a collaborative process between civic minded groups, working together for the good of the community rather than as individual islands within the community. When differing opinions/approaches to a situation come together through a dialogue instead of a discussion, mutual understanding of the issues, and therefore a consensus of approach are much more likely to occur.

Now that our first meeting is over, and I have had time to decompress, I am trying to listen more to how and why something is said, not just what is said. Old habits are hard to break, I imagine this will be a work in progress for quite some time.